Best Quotes from The War With Grandpa

So, are the prices going to be lower since I’m doing all the work now? –Ed

No, I didn’t lose it, I forgot to renew it. –Ed

We’re a family. Sometimes we make sacrifices for each other. –Sally

Come on, you don’t start war with a note. – Billy

I’m a catch. I got a pension. Two more years I can ski free as an elder. –Ed

People who steal other people’s rooms, should not sleep well. –Peter

You need an enemy to go to war and I’m not your enemy. –Ed

You took something of mine and I want it back. –Peter

Okay. You got your wish, Secret Warrior. –Ed

Those yoga pants will be the death of me. –Danny

You don’t go to war with family. –Ed

It’s not like video games. Even if you win, everyone gets hurt. –Ed

Your grandpa had diarrhea? –Steve

Don’t start nothing, won’t be nothing. –Ed

I think your grandpa might be a ninja. –Billy

Photo: ©2020 Universal Pictures

I thought you stopped being an idiot. –Sally

Sweet necklace grandpa. –Peter

Besides, it took me 5 minutes to get into this chair, and I am not getting out. – Ed

My life’s work, ruined. –Peter

During peace talks, you need someone neutral to mediate, otherwise it just breaks down to yelling. –Ed

I’m done, peace is canceled. –Peter

War is no game, Peter. Only kids and fools and generals think that. War hurts and kills and is misery. –Ed

Hope you brought your Polygrip, old man! –Billy

Photo: ©2020 Universal Pictures

Daddy can use the chainsaw anytime he wants, he just chooses to wait until Mommy says it’s OK. –Arthur

You want me and your buddies to beat up your grandson and his buddies? –Diane

Age-appropriate team, 1. AARP team, none. –Referee

Oops. That happened. –Peter

The age-appropriate team won. –Store manager

You have not died in vain. –Ed

I’ve got one finger that works. –Ed

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. –Ed

Don’t make this harder than it has to be kid. –Jerry

I feel so awful. I just want to curl up in a ball and die. –Peter

Merry Birthday, Sweetheart. –Sally

It’s quiet. Too quiet. –Billy

You don’t think I know about the war, Dad? Or should I say, Senior Soldier? –Sally

Photo: ©2020 Universal Pictures

What’s happening right now is that I’m not going to lose 2 years with my daughter. –Sally

Everything’s going to be alright. Let’s go get grandpa and get home. –Sally

I started this, I’d like to be the one to end it. –Peter

Maybe this is how wars get started, they just go on and on. –Peter

I don’t ever want to go to war. –Peter

I kind of enjoyed matching wits with a fellow crazy man. –Ed